Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Clones is Free Dec 26th

All right punks, Merry Xmas and all that.  You probably didn't see Santa because he came round mine to play some Playstation and talk about the next Beat Down novella, after which we drank a couple of crates of eggnog.  Apparently when he got back the elves decided to shave his beard for a laugh, so you might not see him next year either, depending on how long it takes to grow back.  In which case, never fear as Michael S. Hunter here will deliver you some presents instead.  I hope you like crushed rocks . . .

Anyway, I digress.  I just wanted to stop by and tell you that as a thanks for all the dozens of Christmas presents you punks have sent me I'm putting Beat Down 1 - Clones up for free just for one day, today - Dec 26th.  Boxing Day.  Which is awesome, because Russell T. Goode is a wrestler, which is almost the same as a boxer . . . all right, never mind.

Clones is free today only.  Get to it.

Click for Amazon page

26th Dec 2012

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Badassaur cover reveal

All right, punks.  You asked for it.  I've got an early Christmas present for all you Beat Down! fans - the first look at the cover for Beat Down 3 - Badassaur!.  Is that not just frighteningly good?  Seriously, stop weeping with joy.  Knock it off.

As always, cover pic is by the badass Slamet Mujiono, with titles by the awesome Su Halfwerk.  And if you haven't, sign up for the new releases mailing list on the right of this post so you know when this monster is released on the world.  Tentative date is Jan 7th, earlier if I can eat up all the Xmas leftovers in time to get to it before the new year.

Here comes the Badassaur.  Look out!

19th Dec 2012

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Beat Down 3 - Badassaur! update

Hey punks, Michael S. Hunter here.  Just wanted to give you all a status update on Beat Down 3 because I know you're getting a little itchy about progress.

It's done!

Well, drafted at least.  I finished the beast a couple of nights ago after which I went out into the garden, dug a pit with my bare hands and buried it under a pile of rocks to allow it to mature for a while.  The cover has been commissioned so once that's done I'll post a preview online.  Judging by the timeframe we should be live by the New Year, but I'll try to push the bad boy out as a Christmas present for you all if I can.

Talking of Christmas, what are you all up to this year?  All my friends are getting awesome rocks wrapped up in sheets of steel.  Can't think of anything more hardcore than that.  And to save on postage I'll be throwing them direct into their back gardens from here so if you're taking any flights over the Christmas period keep an eye out.

What can we expect from Beat Down 4, I hear you ask?  Well, Beat Down 4 - The Sneevla ("Michael, you badass, what the hell is a "Sneevla"?" I hear you ask - well, you'll have to wait and see!) is already underway.  With a bit of luck it should be drafted and under that pile of rocks by New Year.

Any more future plans?

Hell, yeah.  After Episode 5 I'll be looking at getting a paperback omnibus edition out for all you punks.  That should be awesome.

Right, a crate of mince pies just showed up and I need to go get stuck in.  I spent all morning bench-pressing a two-ton piece of granite so I reckon I've earned it.

Take care out there, this is Michael S. Hunter signing out.


Sunday, 25 November 2012

Beat Down 2 - The Heist hits No.1!

Hey there, punks.  Just wanted to say a big thanks to all you badasses as well as give myself a pat on the literary back because thanks to you (and of course to me because I wrote it, haha) Beat Down 2 - The Heist is sitting proudly at No.1 on the Hot New Releases list in the Amazon Kindle Comedy store.

Here's the pic to prove it (as if you'd ever doubt me!) -

Once again, I'd just like to say thanks to all the punks who bought this.  Seriously, if you guys were here I'd share a bottle of badass champagne with you, but alas, as you're not I'll just drink it all myself.  In fact, I just did.  Badass.

Big up also to Slamet Mujiono, whose awesome cover pic is no doubt responsible for some of the adoration Russell T. Goode is picking up.  Dude, you rock.  And Belinda, man's she's smokin'.  So glad I made her up.

Okay, off to smash some rocks with my bare hands.



25th Nov 2012

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Episode updates for parts 3 & 4

Hey punks, Michael S. Hunter here again with a bit of good news.  Not only is episode 3 well on its way, but I just couldn't resist getting stuck in to episode 4.  As yet untitled, it's currently set in a quaint Italian hill town and is going to feature not just friend against foe but friend against friend, as one of Russell's buddies gets caught up in something he can't control.  It's going to be epic, just you wait.  Also, there's bad news for Russell as Belinda's mother, a former female wrestler whose voice is so low she causes glass to unbreak, and exponent of the infamous Trainwreck finishing move, wants to come along for the ride.  I wouldn't want to be him, that's for sure.

So, we have Episode 3 - Badassaur and Episode 4 - WhatevathehellIwanttocallit due soon.  We're talking Jan 7th and Feb 7th, but you know me, those dates mean nothing to Michael S. Hunter and those novellas will be up whenever I'm damn well ready, which will be sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, keep your heads down and watch out for roundhouses and robot chickens.


25th Nov 2012

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Beat Down - Episode 2 : The Heist cover reveal

Hello again punks, Michael S. Hunter here.  Just wanted to show you the cover for Russell T. Goode's next adventure.  Here's the original art work by the extremely talented Slamet Mujiono.  In this picture we have are introduced to Russell's girlfriend (who was off shopping in Milan with her mother in Episode 1, if you remember - don't worry, the dreaded mother-in-law will no doubt be making an appearance in a future episode!) who is a librarian in a homeless shelter by a day and a kickass female wrestler by night.  And on the other side of Russell you can see a ski jump ... why is there a ski jump in Episode 2?  All I can tell you is it has something to do with chickens and a mysterious stranger ...

And here's the final cover with titles added by the wonderful Su at Novel Prevue, who did the covers for my best mate Chris Ward's awesome novels The Tube Riders and The Man Who Built the World.   If you haven't read any of his stuff then check it out.  While he's not as cool as me or Russell T. Goode (come on, who is?) his books still rock.

In The Heist, Russell gets home to find out someone has broken into his greenhouse and stolen all his prized vegetables, the essence of which is used to make the special formula Beat Down! drink which makes Russell even more badass than usual.   Searching for clues, Russell hears a disturbance in the mysterious chicken radio which leads him and the rest of the gang to Scotland and the shores of the mysterious Loch Guess.  There they will have to do battle with Kurt Sniveller's minions to save the world once again.

Beat Down 2 - The Heist is a comedy action adventure novella not to be missed.

Michael S. Hunter over and out.  Laters, punks.

11th Nov 2012

Friday, 19 October 2012

Beat Down - Episode 1 : Clones excerpt

This is the first exclusive look at Beat Down - Episode 1 : Clones.  In this section, our heroes are in hot pursuit of Kurt Sniveller, but are experiencing a few problems ....

Have some schnapps,’ Cap’n Nerv said with a wide grin.
Thanks.’ Russell took a cup and drained it in one gulp. Almost immediately they heard a rumbling from the ground below them. ‘Good God, Captain,’ Russell exclaimed, ‘I think that stuff has given me the trots.’
It’s not you, Russ!’ Rip shouted, standing up. ‘It’s something below us!’
The earth began to shake, and sand rushed to fill little cracks that appeared in the ground. Russell had the sensation of being lifted up into the air. He grabbed hold of a nearby rock.
It’s rising!’ Rip shouted as the whole area beneath them suddenly jerked upwards.
One o’ you lads grab the schnapps!’ Cap’n Nerv shouted, as Bert flew off to perch in the safety of a nearby tree, cackling, ‘Chav, chav!’ all the while.
Rip managed to grab the barrel under one arm as it rolled towards the edge of what now revealed itself as a giant door. With the other he held on to the trunk of a nearby sapling. Russell had climbed up as far as the chalet, and was standing with his feet braced against the door frame as the whole building rose into the air.
Beneath them they heard a roaring sound, like a huge waterfall.
It’s a secret entrance!’ Russell shouted. ‘That bounder Sniveller must have his base underground!’
Below them, a flood of water gushed out of the open entrance as their barbeque spot became a gurgling river. The chalet continued to rise until they were almost thirty metres in the air.
I can’t hold on!’ Rip shouted. ‘That row really took it out of me!’
Russell looked around for the others. Bert was frantically cawing, ‘Chav, chav!’ from a nearby tree. Cap’n Nerv had managed to hobble to high ground, and now stood on a rock just above the rushing water. Rip was hanging on to a tree poking out of the side of the huge door, with the barrel of schnapps under his free arm. Back on the beach, Marny was watching the whole scene unfold with a look of horror on his face.
A huge shape appeared from out of the opening, moving swiftly below them on the now raging flood of water.
It’s the whaling ship!’ Russell shouted. ‘They must going back to get more sharks! What can the bounders be doing with them all?’
I . . . can’t . . .’ Rip began, then Russell watched with dismay as the barrel fell down into the raging waters in the ship’s wake.
The schnapps!’ the captain roared. ‘Save the schnapps, ye heathen coward!’
Rip’s face was a picture of suffering. ‘I can’t –’
Yes, ye can!’
Then, with the athleticism of a professional soccer player, Cap’n Nerv flicked up a rock with his good leg and swung at it with the cricket bat embedded into the stump of his other one. The ball struck the middle of the bat and flew through the air like a bullet. With the accuracy of a royal archer, the rock struck the top of Rip’s fingers.
Dammit!’ Rip shouted, his fingers jerking and letting go. His legs flapped as he hung comically in the air for a moment, then he plunged down into the raging waters.
That’s it, me hearty!’ Cap’n Nerv hollered, cackling with laughter. ‘Sacrifice yeself for the booze!’
For a few seconds Rip struggled in the water. Russell saw one arm slip around the barrel, and he marveled at Rip’s selflessness. However, he would later assume, he friend could have just been looking to hold on to something that floated.
The water had begun to rush back into the opening, as if pulled by a suction pump. One moment Rip was there and the next he had been sucked down into that deep, dark hole.

Coming to Kindle November 7th 2012

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Here comes Beat Down!

Russell T. Goode is the most badass thing in existence.  Borderline immortal, he is the only seven-times Olympic Power Wrestling Champion in history (and was so good he fought himself in each final), and the current star of the World Wrestling Organisation for which he is the reigning inter-regional champion.  He can breathe underwater, chew through steel, send messages in radio frequencies only a dog can hear, and his sweat has magical properties  that make it a trace ingredient in the soft drink Beat Down!, as well as a top seller on internet auction sites.  On top of everything, he's a champion for the environment, and has won numerous Nobel Prizes for various things, including persuading every government in the entire world to ban private cars.

However, his arch enemy, Kurt Sniveller, a retired wrestler himself, is up to no good.  Always on a mission to take over the world - or at the very least, disrupt Russell's life - he is  in constant need of a good Beat Down!.  Luckily, Russell is on hand to dish one out.

Fleshed out by a colourful cast of characters including Russell's best friend Mart - a talking shark, his manager Rip T. Chest, his assistant Marny, and of course the eccentric part chav / part pirate Cap'n Nerv, Beat Down! is a comedy action adventure series like no other.

In Episode 1 - Clones, Kurt Sniveller and his henchmen, the Sprite Squadron, have kidnapped Russell's brother, Gary.  Also missing are hundreds of sharks.  As Sniveller's sinister plot to take over the world is revealed, Russell and his friends must go on a mission to bring the madman and his cronies to their knees.

Episode 1 - Clones